For all who ask

Am I British at last

I have to declare

I’m not yet there

The next challenge is

What gets me in a tizz

I have to wait

To get phoned with a date

To submit

My application for citizenship

The test is passed

It was a blast

What makes me feel bleak

Is how to prove that I can speak

Without having to sit another test-

I think my English is the best

Or maybe just quite good

Anyway I am not in the mood

It is the language I dream

And the one I use to scream

When I shed a tear

Or contemplate in fear

If I could

To the Home Office speak I would

To make them confess

They need people like me in the NHS

When things were rough

And there were not enough

Doctors and nurses around

From Europe they were found

Please let me stay

My English is okay

I have done as you asked

And seriously completed the task

I would like this process to be completed

At the citizenship ceremony be seated

Until I know if I have been successful

My life will continue to be quite stressful
















I am

Sitting and being

Breathe in slowly

and out

The sun is shining

A gentle breeze sways the trampoline net

The fridge gurgles and hums

I am

Drive over slowly

To a friends house

Tractor on churned up soil

Diffuse light coming down from the sky

Walk up to the folly

Coconut smell of gorse

Hoof marks by the new bench

A robin collects matter for a nest

Chirping on an Ash tree

a hare scampers across the path

Green leaves bursting out buds

Beech tree shadows falling in the stream

Breathe in slowly and out

The sun is shining

I am





The big lie

Cast your eyes back

A couple of weeks

Of getting my residency I delightedly speak

The document I had so much sought

Turns out to be somewhat of a fraught

Sit yourself down and

Hear the tale

Considering it

Makes me go quite pale

To register for the ‘Life in the UK test’

You have to prove your ID-

A passport being the best

You then need to use the same ID-slip

To send away for your citizenship

So there I thought I was being clever

And using my residency document

Would be better

I can hang on to my passport

If I want to fly from an airport

I made a query

The amount of emails that were sent

Made both sides quite weary

They advised me to use my passport as the document

I chose to comply

Even if it was not quite obvious why

Imagine yesterday my surprise

I found out

And now I am wise

There was this young man

from the EU

He had come to Glasgow

To sit the test too

He had registered with the much coveted document

And thought it for the best

Only to be told

He could not sit the test

The shiny blue document was obsolete

(at least for the test)

Because it did not have an expiry date

That made me think

And I overheard

The valid one is pink

So what is the blue card we got sent?

To make us think

Forever life in Britain we could spend?

A card that looks official

But is not beneficial

It makes me feel quite sick

It is a rather nasty trick

Is it thought to placate

So that we would quietly vacate?

That the government can claim

To have reached their immigration reduction aim?

I hope that you dare

To press the button to share (the blog)

As probably all of you have on your sofa

Friends and family who were born in Europa















I went through to Glasgow

I went on the train

I had lots of notes

More revision again

I did get there early and sat on a bench

With my blue and white jumper

I looked rather French

I gave up my Fitbit and gave up my watch

To show I had not written

Inside the catch

Had my glasses inspected and the back of my neck

They were very thorough

What did I expect?

After doing the sample

I started for real

Much to my relief

It was not such a big deal

There was Charles the second

Who hid in an oak and

The battle of Waterloo did not

involve a soak

Get to know your neighbour

And I forgot the rest

24 questions

Get 18 right and you pass the test

I kept ticking the boxes and

knew I was in with a shout when

It took me 10 minutes to get in and out

Am back on the train home

And feeling the best

In case you are wondering

I did pass the test

They asked only little

I knew so much more

They would not at the end

Even give me my score

I got a red stamp

On my piece of paper

This is the one

I will present later

To get a decision on my British vision

To get the important note

Which will allow me to vote


Test Angst

Apparently the questions of the real test are not the same

as the sample ones- what a shame

So a quick sleep to an early rise

To dig deep

And get more wise

In learning I have got quite proficient

My sleep however not so efficient

My head is never quite free

As I wake up each night at three

So far i have learnt a lot

But I do feel I am losing the plot

Some beautiful words

swing around in my head like swords

Epitaph- a phrase inscripted on a tomb stone

Cenotaph- a monument to warriors who are not buried near home

Was it in January Henry VIII died?

Let there be an end soon to my plight

Why can’t i prove my commitment by writing an essay?

Will I go casual or a bit dressy?

What will it be like?

I check on the map

It’s a bit of a hike

Will I get in a flap

to the test centre?

Will I get searched as I enter?

Will it be like a real exam?

Will they make sure

I have not written on my arm?

Two days left

to read the book again

To squeeve some more facts into my brain

I feel rather weepy

Or maybe just sleepy

It’s soon half past four

Time to give it a snore

Ode to Cry

Brexit has started and

Britain will be parted

From the continental space

Where it had its place

since 1973

Now Britain voted to be free

If you shoot yourself in the foot you have to hop

Brexit might just turn out to be a flop

Europe is so much more than Economy

It is about not having an enemy and

working as a team and

having a shared dream

I don’t think you want to admit that -Brexit queen

20000 laws needing to be rewritten

This might just be too much for Great Britain

It is a fundamental flaw to think

you can live without a law

Whilst all this is going on I try my best

to prepare for the ‘Life in the UK test’

My British knowledge is getting quite sound

The biggest coin is for 2 pound

But hang on the quid coin is no longer round

There are still some foods I have never had

Ulster fry I have yet to try

Sometimes I take to soft bread dissing

as continental bread is what I am missing

But don’t be foolish

I buy polish

I hope we can keep an open mind and maybe even reconsider

before all is signed

This has been my home for over 20 years

Sometimes I struggle to hold back the tears

On this country I have been doting

But was not allowed to participate in voting

It is no longer only about wanting to stay

Now it is about wanting to have a say










Britain will be parted

When I was young

I grew up in a mansard

today I am thinking of Hansard and

Bosworth Battle ended the war of the roses and

Black Death brought a pocket full of posies and

Butterworth and Wandsworth and Wordsworth- who was the poet?

Steve Redgrave – did he sail it or row it?

Drake sailed round the world in the Golden Hind and

you pay 50% less on your TV licence if you are blind and

the welsh and the northern Irish have an assembly and

Glasgow has the SECC and London has Wembley and

12 or 15 people on a jury and which court settles what-

I try to remember with fury

I could go on forever

Does that mean I might be clever?

Or maybe just dedicated (hopefully not leading to be medicated)

My head keeps spinning

my friends have long stopped grinning

here she comes with more facts

where do you find out about parliamentary acts?

In the Hansard

Never knew I would find out about that when I grew up in my mansard.








Bosworth Battle